It has always fascinated me: the human’s love of rules and regulations. It has become even more apparent nowadays, during the coronavirus pandemic. In attempts to contain the virus many countries implemented more or less severe restrictions and regulations varying from complete lockdowns of entire cities, closing of the international borders, social distancing, to mandatory use of masks in public, closing the public spaces, gatherings, businesses.
In my part of the world the leaders decided to focus on education and trust in human’s ability for critical thinking and decision making. They opted for less severe restrictions than in many other regions. One would think that it should please people who can enjoy more freedom in their everyday life. Apparently, not so.
I’ve been reading the people’s reactions to daily updates on Covid-19 cases in the province. It was hard to believe how many of them wanted a “complete lockdown” together with the police intervention, monitoring and tracking of regular citizens. Many demanded very specific instructions on what, when, and how were we allowed to go about our daily activities without any consideration for unique circumstances, differences in needs, or the level of risk. “One size fits all” was what people asked for, without any judgment on if that size makes any practical sense for everybody or not.
Based on many researches into human’s mind and emotional response to trauma and anxiety, very specific rules and regulations give people some sense of control. Especially in the situation that is new, completely unknown, and unpredictable.
If we have no control over things, we like somebody else to take it. The rules and regulations are safe, because they give us a perception of control: as long as everybody does this and that, we are OK and nothing is gonna happen to us. We can feel in control by pointing out people that do not follow the rules and blame them for possible failures. This way we redirect our anxiety from worrying about what is gonna happen to worrying about those who do not follow the rules. They are the culprit, the reason for all the problems.
So, the stricter the rules, the more illusionary control over the things we have no control over.
Rules also take away the personal responsibility and decision making: both quite difficult for traumatized and anxious brains. This is the same reason that attracts people to organized groups. They don’t have to worry about making a poor decision, there are rules and regulations that take care of it for them. And, if something goes sideways, they are not responsible for it. The rule makers are; they got it wrong.
We do it in everyday life, apart from unusual circumstances. We set our own rules, often in our heads, and delegate our responsibilities and decision-making to somebody else. For example: “I would love to do it, but my mother/wife/husband would never allow me”; “I cannot do it, it would kill my parents”; “I always wanted to be this or that, but I had to sacrifice my dreams for my family”, etc.
The interesting part is that quite often the people who are supposedly putting the restrictions on us, have never been asked about them. They have no idea that the rules are attributed to them.
We follow the family rules that have never been discussed out loud, but everybody knows them by heart: don’t cry; don’t be a baby; white lies are fine as long as they protect other people’s feelings; women take care of emotions; hard work defines your worth; etc, etc. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we follow the rules. We don’t question them, we just do it, because that’s how things have always been done.
Rules are important. We cannot live in a society with no rules; especially in crisis or difficult times. However, following the rules blindly without thinking or questions is not good. Neither is hiding behind the rules, because we are too lazy to think.
It’s good to think sometimes and explore the reasons for maintaining the rules. Why are we doing something? Is it because it makes sense for us or others; or do we do it just because it is easier, requires no decision making, no effort
“Look, that’s why there’s rules, understand? So that you think before you break ’em.” ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
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