Recently published, 75 years old Harvard Harvastudy discovered the truth about what keeps us happy and healthy when we go through the life. Since 1938 over 700 people have been studied by several generations of researchers. The same men have been followed every two years and not only asked questions about their life; they were also examined medically, their health records have been analyzed and scrutinized in every possible way.
What the researchers found differed significantly from the popular beliefs we hold about happiness. They discovered that what brings us happiness and health are good relationships with others; not money, success, fame, or hard work. Good relationships with others; quite simple, isn’t it?
Funny that they needed 75 years and 700 men to come to this conclusion. I am pretty sure that every nurse and every counsellor working for a few years in this country would have told they the same. I worked as a nurse for over 25 years and as a counsellor for about 8. I have never ever met a single person who would have said something else at the end of their life. They always regretted working too hard or chasing after money rather than spending more time with the loved ones, or having any for that matter. I have never ever met a client who would come to see me because they suffered from the lack of work or money. They come because they want to have better relationships, they want love, they want connection. But I think it’s good to have it confirmed by scientific study. Nowadays you cannot just say what you know from your own experience. You have to start every sentence with: “a recent study found out…” It gives you much better credibility.
Anyway, here we are again hearing the same thing: you need good relationships and connection with others to be healthy and happy. We knew that, didn’t we. We are social creatures, we love facebook, we have 3000 friends on facebook and hundreds of “likes”. And yet so many people feel lonely, depressed, sick… I wonder why?
I know one answer, and I am sure there are dozens more. I know that how to have good relationships with others is not something we are taught in life. As children, we often hear about the importance of a good education, good career, money, security, fame… Not much about connections. This is the first thing we ask the young ones: whom do you want to be when you grow up? Our books and movies are full of stories about people who have made it, about success… We tell kids: think big, you can do anything you want, you can be a millionaire. You don’t tell them how to love well, how to make connections, how to appreciate people.
This is usually something we come to understand much later in life, when we get older, after a few relationship failures, broken families, bouts of loneliness. Sometimes we try to pass this understanding down, to our grown-up children or grandkids. But they don’t listen; they are busy making a career, chasing after money and success…
I don’t really think the Harvard study is going to change anything. But it’s very interesting to listen to or read. It’s good to think about when you sit lonely at home asking yourself: what is it that I am doing wrong in my life? Is there something wrong with me?
Here is the link to a TED talk and the transcript:
By Eva Sadowski
Leave a Reply