If all of the people with physical pain decided to stay home one day, the world would stand still. Almost everybody feels pain at some point in their life—sometimes short-lived and sometimes long and agonizing, with no end in the horizon.
I know pain. It’s been my companion for life. It taught me strength, patience, compassion, focus and understanding of myself.
But it didn’t do it overnight. In fact it took many frustrating years filled with trials and errors, guilt, and hopelessness; and little victories too.
During my nursing years in hospitals I often asked myself why some people do so well in seemingly desperate situations (cancer, paralysis, loss of a limb, etc), when others contract and fade away as soon as any health related challenge appears in their life. It looks as if they step aside and let their own body dictate what they can and what they cannot do; they give up own power.
I wondered if the pain or illness changed a person, or simply magnified earlier believes about themselves and their own reality.
It all comes to the same question: is life happening to you, or you are in charge of your own life? When you are a victim and life just happens to you, it doesn’t really matter what happens. Anything could bring the same powerless response: poor me, look what what he/she/it did to me, you ruined my day, etc.
We start using an event or an illness as an excuse for all the failures and unfulfilled dreams. I am sure you’ve heard the language: “if I only wasn’t sick…”, “if I could walk around…”, “if I wasn’t in so much pain…”, “I would love to, but…”
What is on the other side of this spectrum? Taking responsibility for your own destiny; living the life you want, not the way others (and “others” include your own body as well) want you or allow you to live. You are the only one that can decide how your life would look like.
Let’s take an example of Josh Dueck, an alpine skier, a Para-olympian that started winning medals for Canada just ten years after a ski jumping accident that left him paralyzed from waist down. He loves skiing and he does it despite of not being able to stand on his own feet. He didn’t use his disability as an excuse for not being a skier anymore; he used it as a challenge, a stepping stone to becoming stronger, better, more focused, etc.
It doesn’t have to be huge; we do not become Olympians every day. But we can live our life fully every day, even with a headache or a knee pain. We can get up every day and ask ourselves what we would like to do today without taking an inventory of all the things that may prevent us from doing it.
The other day I met in an elevator one of my neighbours and greeted him with “what a beautiful sunny day we are having today”. He answered: “every day is beautiful if you wake up above the grass. I get up every day and tell myself that this is going to be a great day!”.
I can only wish the same for the all of us every day.
“If the mind can heal the body, but the body cannot heal the mind, then the mind must be stronger than the body”
A Course in Miracles
By Eva Sadowski
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