One of my clients told me recently that she didn’t tell her family about going to a therapist. She didn’t want them to know that “she was weak and couldn’t take care of her own problems”. She felt embarrassed, inadequate, lacking some basic life skills. Unfortunately, I hear it often. This is what I usually offer to my clients in response:
It takes courage to seek counselling; the courage and commitment. It’s not only about wanting to change, to have a better life, to improve. It is not a sign of being weak or lost. It takes a lot of strength and caring. Caring about yourself to the point that you say: “I deserve better, I can do better, I am worth more than I am allowing myself to be.”
Making a decision is crucial. What comes next will depend on you as well. You will make a choice of changing things around or keeping the status quo. The problems that brought you to therapy are sometimes very uncomfortable and tiring, but they are also familiar, well rehearsed, therefore quite easy to fall back onto.
Change is difficult. It takes you out of your comfort zone and leaves scared, vulnerable, sometimes alone. Alone with yourself: there is nobody else to blame anymore, nobody else to hold responsible for your issues. It is just you taking charge of your life. It is very rewarding and empowering, and very tough as well.
The stakes are high; it is you and your life, after all. Make sure you are aware of your commitment, your capacity, and your desire for change. Your counsellor will be there for you to lead you, encourage, give a little push or suggest a different direction, but the work is yours.
And then you see the change. You will be amazed how clear things will become, how easy it will be to explain the unexplainable once you get into it. You will see the patterns, the errors and the way out. It will be completely up to you to take it or not.
It takes one to start therapy, but it affects everybody around you. You will be amazed to see how everything around you changes. The minute you change your perception and attitude, everybody else’s energy changes. It is fascinating to watch, it is fascinating to experience.
So, why would you seek counselling? Because you have only one life and one try. You don’t want to wake up one day and conclude that you wasted it. Believe me, you don’t.
By Eva Sadowski
Leave a Reply